So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
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I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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