i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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