Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize