Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
