Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
