Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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