then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
there is glitter all over my balls
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