After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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