Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
