Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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