I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
