Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
