I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
