Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
