we're chasing vodka with high fives
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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