I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
