I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ttyl tear gas
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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