i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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