Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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