i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
