Sry I called you an 8
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
