Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
