On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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