I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize