he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize