Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
