It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
