Having a random hookup so left but love u
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
