i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
