Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
