I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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