hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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