He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
