did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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