So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize