last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
