weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
