I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
