How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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