Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
