She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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