I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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