i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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