You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
