In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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