Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
