I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
