I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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