If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
