I smell stomach acid.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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