it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
