Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
