so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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