Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
