Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
