Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
People in love make me want to vomit
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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