You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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