real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
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Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?