I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha