So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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