think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
