I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You made out with two different species that night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
