how can u be prego again
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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