u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
